A Typical Night At The Players'

Over the 68 years of the club’s existence, a formula has been developed, which shapes the evening, but the chemistry of each group of artistes is unique to each show.

Normally a show consists of seven or eight artistes (though for pantomimes the number is much greater).The “mighty Players’ orchestra” is always represented by one pianist. (At the present time this is Mr. Derek Taverner, famous for his TV group, The Derek Taverner Singers). All the Players’ performers are ‘Artistes’; all the ladies are Miss; all the gentlemen are Mr.!

Before each show we stock up with a drink of varying specific gravity, which we are allowed to take into the theatre. If of unsure memory (or new to the game), a Song Sheet is a wise investment as it contains the words of all (or most) of the choruses sung that night.

Singing is very much a pillar of the show. Even the Overture includes a number of choruses to help the more eager to warm up their vocal chords. The strains of the late Regency chorus: “A fine old English gentleman” heralds the arrival of Dominic Le Foe who will act as the Chairman for the evening. He is the only Chairman to have this introduction; it arose from his earliest appearances when, despite the Continental (even foreign) name , he would introduce himself as “As British as the Flag”, confirming his loyalty by producing a miniature Union flag.

After a few pleasantries, he gets us to work, always beginning with Number One on the Song Sheet: “Covent Garden in the morning”, (where, of course, the Players’ began, 68 years ago). Having passed contemptuous judgement on the quality of our singing, he requires us to redeem ourselves by singing “Oh, the Fairies” a paean to the Ladies of the Night. This is always referred to as “The Players’ Theatre Anthem”.

After a repeat chorus we are then reminded of our patriotic duty and rise to drink a loyal toast – “To her Great and Glorious Majesty, Queen Victoria, God Bless her”, which serves to remind us that we have been transported back to 1899.

As the shock that this unexpected (for the non-cognoscenti) event has created, subsides, the Chairman bangs his gavel, consults his running list and announces “The first Artiste of the evening”. This may be one of the firmest and long-established favourites – or a quaking newcomer so anxious to do well that they barely notice the Chairman’s genial request for “The customary Players’ warmth of welcome for the newest newcomer to the Joys” (the shows being called the “Players’ Late Joys” for historical reasons). Whichever it is, they have their four minutes and retire until the second half – rather anxiously consulting the other artistes in terms of “how did it go?” for the debutant(e).

So the first part unfolds, each artiste introduced in turn. Singers always make two appearances, but speciality acts – Magicians, Jugglers, or even more esoteric performers – are usually seen just once in the evening.

The interval follows, and Part two follows with the reappearance of the Chairman who, in true club tradition, enquires if there are any celebrations – birthdays, anniversaries or other red letter days. These will be musically celebrated by us all. Then, to demonstrate our tolerance of non-Britons, visitors from abroad are generously welcomed – even having their own miniature National flags hoisted, if Dominic happens to have one - he usually does. They may be slightly disconcerted, however, to be asked if their head of state as at 1899, is in good health.

The traditional Players’ raffle, with its traditionally suspect prizes, is drawn and then a bang on the gavel means we’re off again, with the usual blend of beauty and beastliness, comedy and tragedy, courting bliss and married hell.

As the last artiste withdraws, there is time for one last ritual: the entire cast returns to lead us in “Dear Old Pals”, a chorus that has concluded every Players’ show since 1936.